Dissatisfaction, Trustworthy, Hatred

I mean, why Humans us are born with these kind of feeling? Why humans just can’t live in a very peaceful live without concerning any feeling around, without any personalities.

Today, well because i’m had been studying in KL for sometimes now, missed out quite some outing with my home town mates. I should actually be happy because yeah, out of so long we finally gather together and have sometimes chit-chatting. I don’t mind being separated in group within the gathering community since is quite a big scale of 12 people. Ya can imagine why it will be separated in groups without knowing. Large scale gathering ain’t bad, at least i have a chance to meet up with my mates.

The things that made me quite disappointed was, the argument between friends. Due to my absence, many things happened. Once a best friend being hating each other. You can say i’m busy body having myself to trespass people’s business but well i just want to find out what’s the main source where the problem really occur.

Let use A, B, C and D as their name’s. While we are still studying together, A and B was such a good friend. A as well introduced B to C which is current B partner the day they are still friends. But now is more likely A hating B because of C telling the story B told C to D which is A relative. D was actually a business man where was related with A in a sense of blood relation. From what i’ve heard, D never concern about any of D workers when working including A. Having to clear all debt between Supplier but never do concern of paying Fix Cost a company hold 1st. To me, even though i’m not a businessman, but i can see that he failed as a boss. A started complaining to B when they are still friends. But sad case was B told C and C eventually talk that issue to D where in the end D screw A. Is quite complicated actually but why does D never see the main idea of delivering the issue to D? D was actually older than A which in common sense D should be alittle mature. Yet, D will get married next year.

To me D is not a reliable human where D was older but every month life spend was paid in little amount. Reason D is getting married. A which having lower salary then D that are also forced to help D on D business had to pay for tons of payments. As a friend or even a third party, is clearly to be seen that D are the main cause of problems. But sadly A think to little yet hating B until now. I have no rights yet does not have any evidence to prove B and C were innocent but there are still mistakes in them, but clearly, to tell those ugly stuff that A told B to D was clearly wanting to D to realise D mistakes. Sadly, things goes the other way round.

Advised was told to A, but A never listen by saying D and A is relative so A have to help D no matter what happened. Kinda lame isn’t it?

Guess things have to let them settle on their own. Being 3rd party is quite hard. Sad news. Can’t really helped but only to post in random place where there were no one who really knew this blog was written by who…

P.s.
-Kyrre-

Sometimes i’m thinking…..

Most of the time i have been thinking, why friends around me just prefer to speak in Chinese, Cantonese or even BM where i rarely encounter English. Is it that hard to pronounce in English or speak even broken style of English? I might be weird but to me i felt comfortable talking in English.

I’m Chinese educated, having a very traditional thought and rarely socialise since i’m young. Something very similar with my Dad, hardly get in to groups. Most of my friend say i’m being to serious, cool where i think i’m not but just that i can’t respond due to the lack of communication or socialising. 1 hell of my weakest point as a 22 years old Teenager’s. Why am i like this? Haha~ Let’s think…. Back to topic, still why English are not on wide use? Even though my mother tongue are 1st on Chinese but i eventually changed to English ever since i got in to Secondary school. Something which rarely happen being a Chinese educated student.

Maybe i’m just weird. Playing to much of games, online games and yet interacting with English all the time. Something they called Otoku but i never think i’m one of it. But thankfully my Parents do ask us, their children to speak in English. I think out of 100% only 10% of those Chinese in the whole Malaysia will ask their children to speak in English? Only apply to those that were send for Chinese educations parents of course. If the parents were started as an English educated i think their mother tongue were fixed English since they were born. Well, maybe.

But meh, my elder brother eventually found it weird speaking english with my parents where i never felt so. Sadly my sister and younger brother don’t like to speak as well. Teehee.

Up until now, i do think that is was pain in the ass for me to get a GF as most of the friends around me with gf smsed in Chinese. @.@ Where it eventually hit my weakest point. I’m totally noob in chinese even i studied in Chinese Primary school. Sorry Sam!! xD
Is hard to cope with chinese for me. Some of my friend even say im OCBC aka Orang Cina Bukan Cina. LOL!! 1 hell of a epic phrase.

Let’s talk about hobbys. Me. Games, Kits and Collecting Figurines. Rarely play Lan Games cause i found it darn boring playing long term. And i still call myself a gamer xD!! Not a fan of Fashion as well but for now i do abit concern of my look as i have been messing around with people younger then me. I don’t want to look to obvious that i’m old xD. Teehee… Well, can’t really blame me nor my parents as well cause ever since young i rarely shopping. Not to mention my parents don’t buy expensive clothes. They really do consider about our look representing ourselves to others but they still prefer cheap. Nevertheless, i don’t like choosing Clothes. Never had the patient for Fashions. Being oldish in fashion is not a very bad idea as well. Save money.

But sadly i got addicted to Figurine yet had a hobby of collecting Model kits since young. *Sorry Mum xD* I know myself am not a rich kid, but still maybe is a trend. If you are not rich, most of your interest will be those expensive stuffs. But when you are rich enough to have everything, you eventually found it boring doing so. I do appreciate all those figure’s and kit’s that i bought but only apply on Originals. Had no idea why but was collecting pirated kit’s but never had took good care of it.

That is why sometimes i really do think… why i think so much xD

Pointless yet Fed up with the Development of Royal Aion.

Maybe what i’ve might be wrong. But, as a Event manager of a Game, keeping the Game to be Dead like is quite irresponsible. Still, just by introducing Crafting like Balic craft to player are to be suspected as well? Seriously, i might be a little rushing but is that a way to introducing something new to player instead of having the NPC to be fully fixed where i doubt there will be a full fix on it.

My brother won the Event Fair and Square, he might gave a top weapon to one of the player but is it that wrong? And Event item crafted out, giving it to a player was a wrong act? I really don’t get it? What they eventually fear? His Developer eventually giving Elite Archon to Migrate player which was to just help Asmodian to War. Is my act that over the limit?

Event posted in for discussion but end up no opinion given. Filled with questions and the fix i ask to be done are ignore. Maybe is because of the Main Private server developer ignore it but still at least update a little regarding the situation. Everything i have to do it by myself and write Q&A. Every Event i have to think by myself and propose to them. And the result of every Event were Pending. Thats all. PENDING!

Started to be pointless to continue in this kinda GM thingy to me actually. I’m not sure whether that i will continue or not, but most likely i will not be around in that game any longer. Again and again, the Development in Royal Aion just making me heart break. Putting so much of afford in this end up. I cant really understand nor i can hardly know what i should do now.

La~La~La

What a La~La~La day. Lol. Alone at home, doing nothing but just looking for idea’s and passion’s for my assignment. Ya right, just playing Granado Espada until now. Tehahaha….

Never the less, that game, so some reason, is going to face end? Most epic spender, IAH beloved customer leaving 1 by 1. Lol. Ban Botter’s? Don’t make me laugh. There were bot’s everywhere and you guys eventually saying you having the ban system running. How about those epic spender? They still botting, and never got ban? Lame~

A finish about games. That game just gonna be an AFK-ing game to me anyway. Let talk about something my lecture said last friday in Critical & Creative Thinking Class. He said, Once you have a partner you wish to be single but when you don’t have a partner you wish to get a partner. To me, ya it was kinda true. To me which is still single, true. Sometimes seeing those couple will eventually makes me like envy or something or the feeling of lonely appear. Well this was quite hard to explain as someone told me that lonely? Look for your friends and have a talk, play, etc. But well i do think that the kind of lonely can’t be replace by friends or just by playing games or whatever it is to distract you from thinking. Well, this is just my point of view. Haha.

Still, i don’t really understand myself that whenever i saw her picture, i got attracted. Maybe i got attracted by her beauty? Or do i really does fall for her? Although i got rejected, somehow i just doesn’t seems to be having a down feelings. But sometimes i do think of her. Well, whatever? I think i should have start to move on instead of stuck here thinking of her without any reasons why i have to think of her. Or maybe i should try again? Get to know her more. But she seems to be avoiding me somehow. Let see how things goes shall we? Hehe.

Another 4 more weeks and i will be having my 3rd semester break. Now i still have no idea whether i can return to home town to take or to see my Snow Miku figurine which i really wanted to see. Lol~ That Nendroid Figurine are really Cute. *Holy! I’m being so girly here. Ah oh well.. Sigh*

So, another boring day, looking at the forum. Any activities?

Speechless..

Why am i speechless? Because of a dam guy who always Emo here and there. He’s just freaking being like my aunt that always thinks he is the right one. While hurting people’s feeling, he only consider his own feelings to be most concern that other people. And yet, when people fight with him, He freaking show us some EMO face where until now i also can’t stand him anymore.

What the point of keep fighting for you pride when most of us already going against you. Is simply means that you having the most problem then we having problem. Please, do observe the situation before you end up being alone. With such attitude, you will no longer be one of us. Any Event, Outing probably they won’t be asking you anymore. I being the most Kind and Considerate also having problem with you now.

Me and him are trying as hard as possible to stop the situation while you keep on putting fire on it. So guess what? He, himself can no longer take it and straight write all your action out. Satisfy now? You have done a good job do you?

Don’t anytime compare yourself with people while you eventually having the most critical problem dude. Even i can no longer stand. I already gave you advise, way to solve and yet you still go with your freaking ego. And Now! Finally, they isolate you. So in a word, Congratulations on what you did. And to me, we are still friends, but i will no longer help you. You are the one who spoil your own reputation.

真是的！我已给了你意见，你就偏偏要继续唱反调，我可没有力再帮你了，你自己好自为之。。人可忍一时，但可不能忍一世！！

Untitled..

Well, basically i don’t actually know what title to put today. Been a long week as in this week are so freaking tired. 3 days late sleep. Is like heaven and hell to me. Sleeping continuously in 4am for 2days and 6am Today. But, had my burden lessen since i had my Web Assignment done Thank to Nazree. Seriously, I owe you one. When i go back i will treat you for a meal! You had my word.

Still, been a week. Never saw her on msn. Finally got her number, but didn’t get any reply from her. Told not to give up but i was actually thinking of giving up now. Neither do i can nor i can’t, i will still try my best to contact her. Never try never know huh? Nice quota. Haha. Well, since i got another to flirt with, yup a beauty, mature well older then me for like 2 years old. Hehe. Somehow i think i became a Lover boy but i can confirm that i’m not. Just that she actually started it in game. So flirting around with her seems to be fun yet relaxing for me.

Well, knew her in game, called Tlfania. Well she love to game, named herself Hardcore Girl Gamer. But, nah she not. Haha! Well, talk to her much, and ya congratulation to her as well. Seems that she will be marrying her current bf in 2 more years time. Congratulation to her in advance. Hope she will be happy

Felt to explode.

Damn! Feeling seriously pissed. What i did, what i have done, goes to nothing? I don’t understand a thing? Is it such advantages given to experience in something and make the whole group grows strong? Is in only experience can make a Leader to have such strong group? WHAT THE FUCK REASON THEY GIVING ME?

For once, i had never blame them for judging me. As maybe i might be wrong. But now? Being active in the things they are not, being active in interacting with player’s say i bias? I do all my train on my member base on what i do in my real life. As a leader, i will never ever spoon feed them. More concert about Real Life so what? Is it that important to be an excuse for you guys to judge me? Huh? This is game bro~ If they want to quit Let them Quit! Don’t be brainless like them as well. Fuck off! Compare armour’s and raid’s now? Did you ever see how i teach my group to raid? I can eventually have my team to down a freaking instant boss with just 3 member. Them? Can’t? Because of no experience? Shut the fuck up lar. Don’t babysit them anymore else they won’t learn.

Don’t Put all the blame on i have experience in such thing and that the most advantages to my member. Please do think that i pay to play for just 1 version and i have no idea about the newest! So what do i do? Told them to do Their RESEARCH! Online game is not a place where Senior FEED Newcomer with information. If you do so, they never learn. Get it? Your position higher then me so what? Do you game like me? Do you face Game problem’s like me? zzzz Anyway, i think i will be resigning as the Staff for the dam server. Hopeless. Since i bias, no point i continue to support you guys cause i BIAS! BECAUSE OF I BIAS, IS MY FAULT FOR THEM TO FALL. SO I QUIT! HAPPY NOW?

Missing her.. Loneliness :(

Today, i seriously had fun with my hometown friend V, Lunn and Nazree. We went to Comic Feista which is located at Time Square Hotel. At the same time, i also did enjoy to meet up with an online friend of our called McDonald (Freedomangel as nick). Seriously, had fun.

At the hotel, yeah, we get to see quite some amount of Cosplayer’s which is quite nice. Instead of having only Narutard and Bleach, we are kinda impress that we can eventually see more then just few Anime Cosplayer’s. The event is really interesting having Malaysian singing Jap songs. I mean Anime Jap songs. Hehe

Well, at the event, i also bought some of the poster’s. Sephiroth (One Winged Angel Theme poster) , Hatsune Miku (Append Version) and A2 sized Black Rock Shooter. Yet here, i will like to thank Lunn for paying Rm20 for the BRS poster and the treat on Starbuck cafe. Thank you.

Is true that i enjoyed the view there is Comic Feista, yet having to shoot quite some nice, pretty girls. Yet one which is really nice, cute, pretty and TALL @.@ but it eventually makes me can’t stop think of her. Is that a bad news? Or a good news? Been trying to contact her via Facebook few days ago as i lost her contact number. But no reply. Is she eventually avoiding me? Not much news to be told but i’m quite disappointed. T-T

Maybe i really had done 1 wrong move as i told her i had feelings for her before her SPM exams. And some action eventually makes her felt Embarrass? Most probably will be my fault i think. No people to be blamed except me. Heh :’(

Well, i guess i will have time to be my judges. Let see what time can help me? Sometimes it help or it might be the end of the relation. Who know’s? Depressed~~~

Down.

Well, actually im not that down. But having her to say that she wont be playing anymore really make me sad. Moody. Wonder what can we talk about next as im really nooob in this situation. Having a heart that wanna have her as a GF maybe is abit to far for me? Or it actually turn from possible to impossible?

Well, what i mean by impossible is because she was actually planning to go Taiwan for further study. Separated so far a part might be already counted as impossible to me. Is it? Somehow i think is already time for me to end up my feeling and have another as my target? But can i do so? Asking myself deep inside. Seeking for a truth that i cant really search in my heart. Why human just have this emotion that i dun really want to have it. Sadly.. Am a failure.

Was also thinking of quitting the game since she’s not playing anymore. But as a Management level in the game, i can hardly had myself to leave the game. So what is my next move? Possible of concentrating in my final Assignment now but what after that?

Just notice.. I eventually lose weight!!! From 92 > 89!! RAWR!!!!

Something might go impossible…

Another day without jog. Due to tiredness, i eventually slept until 1930 where they sky already change dark. Is not that i can’t go jog but is quite dangerous if we jog alone at night. We can’t really know what will happen in a lonely jogging night.

Still, Moody even after my Photography presentation. Maybe because i spend almost Rm150 there? Who know. But, knowing her to have her exam finish really does makes me a little happy. As in either if she will be continue Aion is still an unknown. I seriously wish to tell her that i really miss her way much, but i think this action can cause her to avoid me in future. I don’t really wish to see that happen but something that always keeps me going will only be her smile on her Facebook profile picture. I really had to admit that i really had fall for her. But in the calculation of having a relation via internet, the possibilities became 30%. Have ask her for outing but rejected since she said she will be busy looking for a job and further study information. Do i really have a chance of asking her out? I thinking this question again and again.

I can’t really believe that i’m eventually so depress now as normally i won’t. Maybe relationship things really will have human can’t control their emotion and action. For example the male that just committed suicide last week. But to me, i will have my best EQ’s to control myself from doing so that i won’t do such things. Making my dearest family and friends sad are not my choice of living in this world. Maybe i should really let the feeling goes at it is but is really hard to me i guess. What is Love? I wonder……